well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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