im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm too high and old for this...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize