If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
