I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
