People with herpes should wear stickers.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
