Porn is love you can see.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
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