This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
