Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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