If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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