i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize