I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Someone stole a lamp last night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
