Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
