and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
