My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
