I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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