Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
