I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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