I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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