Do vagina's smell?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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