my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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