If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
