I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
