Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
pray to the hookup gods
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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