Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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