someone get that fucking seahorse.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
