just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
