I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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