I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize