Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
My first STD was from a foam party
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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