god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
