ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm like, not good at living.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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