I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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