I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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