you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
