Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
