Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
