You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
