his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
it glows. i had to have it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
