Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
