Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
