So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
