Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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