checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
