you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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