I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
