I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
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I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
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hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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