who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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