She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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