everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize