If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Everclear isn't food dammit
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
