Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My vagina just clenched in fear
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
