he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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