On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize