We're facebook friends in real life
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
