I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
