I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
