that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
