Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
