You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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